All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Would you agree that unhappiness is often either caused by or leads to feelings of lonliness and/or isolation?
Would you agree that happiness is often inextricably linked to connection? Is that what all happy families have in common?
Reading that assertion, I think it sounds like Tolstoy is claiming there are simply happy families or there are unhappy families. Do you believe in such a black-and-white view, or more of a middle ground? Do you interpret that statement differently than I have?
Epigraph: a short quotation or saying at the beginning of a book or chapter, intended to suggest its theme.
The epigraph at the start of Anna Karenina states:
Vengeance is mine; I will repay.
How many times have we all said that? Maybe none actually, but it is a rather provocative start to the book, eh? Any reactions?
So whether you've gotten the book already, or need to run to the library/book store tomorrow...you can enter into our discussion either way. Please chime in!
Oh boy, you're going to make me think while I read...but so far the only thing that has caught my eye is the way Leo Tolstoy calls each character by their first and last name.(I'm only in the fourth chapter)I will attempt to become a front row student before our next choice.
ReplyDeleteWaiting for my copy from the NP public library if it isn't "lost" like all the other books.....catch up with you ladies soon!
ReplyDeleteNice to "meet" you, Jenn! Amy has told me so much about you :)
ReplyDeleteIt is great to meet you, too, Brooke!
ReplyDeleteHi! Just signed up. My friend Jen in Hermiston, OR told me about joining the group. Hope I can get this book for my Kindle. Looking forward to getting started.
ReplyDeleteIn refering to the first line of the book. I believe (in my own naive way) that all families are unhappy. They just appear happy from the outside.....
ReplyDeleteHi Kerri! Glad you're going to read with us :)
ReplyDeleteKristi--in response to your comment, I'm wondering what it would mean for a family to be considered a happy one? I do think most families are good at/used to glossing over things for the benefit of others, but I don't know if that means I think we're all unhappy. I would consider G, E and I to be a genuinely happy family---but there are definitely times I choose not to share hard stuff with other people. Is that what you mean? Or am I way off? Are you thinking of families in a broader sense: parents, children, siblings, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins...or smaller immediate family?
ReplyDeleteI once made the claim that all families are dis-functional in their own ways (and I was strongly disagreed with), but I still think it's true! I mean, no one person is good at everything. How could one family be good at everything? Right?
I think Tolstoy's opening comment is an interesting one. I don't agree with what he seems to be saying on the surface.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that one family unit can always be "happy" since that unit is made of individuals who, at any given moment, by their own experience and contributions or not, can disrupt the "happy" family unit balance.
But, that is probably a bit over-analytical because I don't think Tolstoy means to be commenting on families he perceives to be happy.
I think this is more of a commentary on families who are probably consistently dysfunctional. I think when he says that each are "unhappy in their own way" he is referring to each families' particular brand of self-sabotage or destructive habits or mistreatment of one another.
And, could it be that the source of a happy family life is the same for each family? Mutual, love, respect and self-sacrifice?
And at the same time the source and manifestation of unhappy families could be a vast array of motives and abuses. The result of which is countless symptoms of pain and psychological troubles, etc?
Is that what he means?
Kerri I got the free version on my kindle, hopefully you were able to find a free copy too!
ReplyDeleteI think that each family member can add happiness to others, and as family members we can honor each other by choosing to be happy. I'm not saying someone who is struggling with depression has a choice, that is a whole set of different circumstances. I’m referring to "one of those days" that we all have. You know the kind...the alarm doesn’t go off, when you spit while brushing your teeth you notice a blob of white foam dripping down the ends of your hair and the front of your shirt, you can’t find your car keys, and you manage to step in dog poop in your living room and you don’t have a dog. I think you have a choice to laugh at the situation and be happy, rather than let circumstances dictate whether or not you will be joyful. I’m not saying just plaster on a fake smile and pretend nothing happened after all you smell like dog crap. I'm saying we have a choice to move on and find some joy in any situation. I think we should move on in joy for the sake of the people around us and the people we love.
It’s the whole don't kick the dog approach cause you had a crappy day at work. Oh wait I forgot you don’t have a dog.
Very well said, Amy....I hate when I have days that I have to apologize more to my kids than actually have fun with them. It IS a choice, no matter how we are feeling or what kind of day we are having we can either be a blessing to others or stamp out their joy just with a look...
ReplyDeleteand yes, I have spat toothpaste in my hair and on my shirt more times than I can count.